Monday, October 7, 2013

YOU...WHORE.

When I came home from work on Friday, the first words that came out of my mouth were...
"you WHORE".
After 5 plus years together, a beautiful child, a great dog, and a home that we worked hard to create together, how could you do this to me?
 I was betrayed.
NO, I didn't walk in the door to find the cable man humping my girl on the kitchen table. If that was the case, the first words out of my mouth would have been "Hey...I EAT there."
 What happened was much worse.
She went and bought a shelving unit from TARGET.
 I'm not sure if any of you know this, it's a secret that I've been keeping...I build (wait for it...)
furniture. There, I said it, it's all out in the open now.
 All joking aside, she was actually looking out for me. She see's me working like crazy, and didn't want to bother me with a petty piece. She even went as far as trying to assemble it with a butter knife.
 None the less, it's tenure in our home was under 24 hours.
I was in the home depot parking lot at 5:45 Saturday morning, waiting for them to open so I could get some steel to make a REAL shelving unit.
 Having that piece of garbage in my house was like a crucifix under a demonically possessed persons pillow.
 Although my Saturday was hijacked by this project, the end result was very nice and the moral of this story is...A closed mouth doesn't get fed.

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