Monday, November 10, 2014

WHERE THE HELL IS MY SAW?

Saturday morning I woke up with the birds (as usual), and as I sipped my coffee, I was slightly perplexed at what I wanted to do with my day.
 It was a rough week, I had a trip to the movies planned for the family in the early evening, a giant pile of laundry, and if I did go to the shop...what was I gonna make?
 I remembered seeing a giant beam a couple of weeks ago, so I let my mind play with that for a few minutes. I had thought about using that beam for a floor lamp because I have this old engine hoist that would pair well with the beam, or depending on the size of the beam, maybe I'd do a desk?
 Once I started thinking about the desk idea, I made a deal with myself that if my saw was in the shop, then it would be a desk.
 My saw has been traveling lately and I wasn't sure it would be there. I thought it was in my truck, but it wasn't, not in the job box either. Whatever I was going to make would all hinge on where I left that damn saw.
 I got to the shop, flipped on the lights, and there she was. Done deal, time to work old friend.
The purpose of the saw was to rough in the mortise to receive the top. It's necessary to do it with a circular saw when you're working with large pieces of wood, and frankly, I have mastered it.
 The beam wasn't as tall as I thought it was, but I made the trip and the saw had spoken, and to tell you the truth I just let loose and did whatever my hands and material wanted to do.
 It was very liberating. No plan, no sketch, just letting go and blindly creating.
I think the Buddhists would be proud because for a few hours, I was able to let my brain converse with my hands without me interrupting them.
 At some point it stopped being a piece of furniture, and became something else. What that something else is...I don't know, but whatever it is, it fulfilled me..
 And isn't that the point? Fulfillment.
Fulfillment is what we search for unknowingly all day every day. When we eat, when we fuck, when we work, when we talk, etc, etc.
 We're on a constant quest for fulfillment, and find it throughout our day, but rarely stop to appreciate it.
 Have you ever bumped into an old friend, and you have a conversation, and walk away from that conversation feeling so fucking good? That's fulfillment. Actually, that's you embracing your fulfillment.
  The only way to see fulfillment is learning to let go.
We as humans hold on to so much.
 I had a good friend that died this summer.
He died because he couldn't let go of his mothers death. Not letting go led to bad decisions, self medication, depression and eventually death.
 It happens all the time. We all know someone way too young who's heart exploded in their chest, because people hold on to so much garbage, and let it rot inside them until it fucking kills you.
 Not me...I'm letting shit go.
I'm harboring nothing and leaving myself open to anything and everything.
 It's not "hippy thinking", it just makes sense.
If you're awake and present in life, it will show you things. It will show you beautiful things.
 This is what my craft shows me. These are the things I think about when I build. This is my freedom and my therapist.
 I've made it very clear throughout my posts that I don't give a fuck about money or accolades.
I write these posts because I want to share.
 If just one person is inspired by these posts, to knit a sweater, or build a chair, or paint a picture, or get lost in their childs smile, or their girlfriends kiss, then my work is no longer my own, but communal.
 Take from it. Take from me. Fly free.

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