Monday, March 6, 2017

MOVE ON



I've had a rough week.
 There's been some personal drama in my life that I'm trying to navigate, but I'll get to that shit once I run through our builds (cause that's kinda sorta what my blogs were supposed to be about).
 Live edge rolling bar cart for our retailer JAUNT in Arlington Hts.
A lot of times me and Zack go off and build stuff on our own and sometimes we merge. This cart is the result of the "merge".
 I like building like that. It doesn't happen enough. Business volume sometimes dictates the divide and conquer method.
 The next one is a coffee table that was commissioned by a group of co workers who's co worker is getting married.
 Better than a toaster or a SHAM-WOW.
Lastly is another wall organizer, which was designed to help sloppy mother fuckers get organized.
 My fathers bad health took a turn for the worse this week.
He's cheated death a few times, and he seems to have dodged the grim reaper once again.
 Call it the luck of the Irish, call it being a stubborn bastard...I don't know.
The emotional toll these situations put on a family is brutal.
 I found myself operating in a daze all week.
Everything is touch and go. You panic every time the phone rings, I found myself scrambling to get information from my mom, brother and sister.
 Emotions bubble up inside you that you've repressed for years.
You tucked all those feelings away in some dark corner of your brain, and one by one they surface to pay you a little visit.
 I tucked them away in the first place because I had no need for them, I was done with them, but with the recent situation, they came out, and I had to acknowledge them again.
 I'm a different man since I tucked those feelings away a long time ago.
I'm able to see them in a different light. I've grown past them. They're there, but they're not so painful anymore.
 Delicately put...Me and my fathers relationship had always been strained.
It was either strained or non existent. More so in my youth and early 20's, and after that, it became cordial for the most part.
 I wasn't the easiest kid to parent, but I also now acknowledge that I have never known enough about him or his past to gain any insight on why he was the way he was.
 After going to see him in the hospital on Sunday, I realized that his past nor our past really matters because you only have today.
 Do you all hear me? Stop for one second and take it in...you only have today.
Your past should only be a point of reference, all things good or bad. Your past should be a tool and not a crutch or an excuse.
 Ask yourself...If I only get 24hrs. at a time, do I really have time to hold on to negative memories, feelings or emotions? I'll answer that for you...NO you don't, you have shit to do.
 It just sucks that sometimes you gotta figure that out when it's too fuckin late.
Me and my old man are never gonna toss a football around in the backyard, nor will he be giving me piggy back rides, or push me on a swing, but at least in my head and in my heart, he and I are in a good place.
 Let shit go my friends.
Call your dickhead brother that you haven't talked to in 10 years, reach out to that friend that drew a giant penis on your Iron Maiden album cover when you were kids...cause you only get today.

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